Monday, December 22, 2003
Today was a sad day for me. Well, actually it's been a sad week. As you guys already know, my bf is a secret bf. We've been keeping it secret for 2 years now. Now, the problem is that my cousin from TX is moving here to SF to live with me. At least until she gets a job. So, that means I won't be able to see my bf for.. I don't know how long. I hate having a secret relationship but right know, there's nothing I can do. So, I've been talking to him and asking him deep questions. He told me that I should tell my parents about us as the first step to take the relationship to a more permanent level O_o I never thought he would say something like that. I never even thought that he'd even consider getting more "permanent". But anyway, I was thinking otherwise. I thought I'd tell my parents only if we were gonna get married or something. Otherwise, I really don't want to experience the pain of fighting with my parents again, especially with my mom. I had a bad experience with my mom 2 years ago. It was the first time I told my mom that I had a filipino bf, she freaked out, and so later on I told her I'd broken up with him. That's why, if we're not gonna get married in the end, I don't want to damage my relationship with my family.
Well, we haven't really decided what to do. So, we'll keep quiet for a while longer. So I won't see him for the next couple weeks because my little brother (C) and the cousin (L) are coming for christmas. L will stay here for a few days, and she'll go back to austin and then move to my place later in january. I'm really sad now. But at least I know that he loves me. I've been insecure for a long time and this makes me feel better.
ari 12:45 AM
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