aririn

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

I had a very depressing conversation with my brother today. He was telling me how my mom told him that I've been making her sad with my attitude. I almost never call home and when she calls I always to cut the conversation off because I have to do something. FYI, I DO have to do something when she calls, and it IS hard enough for me to cut the conversation off with her coz she just frikkin won't stop talking for half an hour straight. Being on the phone with my mom is like listening to a really boring talk radio. I never get to say anything, and she thinks I don't listen to her. She even thinks I lie when I say I gotta go. What hurts me more though, it that she goes to my bro and tell him all the bad stuff about me. I don't need my own mother badmouthing me to my own brother!
I haven't been in a good relationship with my mother for a long time. And she knows it. And that's part of the reason why I don't call home too often. I don't understand why she even wants to talk to me, or rather, talk to herself with me as an audience.
My bro said she's just lonely and she wants a mother-daughter relationship with me. Well, shit. Everytime she talks to me, it's always about my stupid uncle, my dad's company, and anything she could think of how to conver me into going home and join the family company. And I can't particularly call that a 'mother-daughter' kinda talk.
This whole thing's making me depressed now. I don't know what to do, or what I should say to her. I'm just really, really tired and my tears are dry.
And this stupid cough's still plaguing me...

ari 11:24 PM