Friday, February 14, 2003
My granma just died yesterday. I'm thinking of going back to indo for the funeral. But I'm scared. Scared of what's going to happen. I'm scared of breaking down. I'm scared of the pressure my family's gonna put on me. I'm even scared of the possibility of not being able to come back here. I'm doing fine right now. I cried a little bit, but that's it. I don't feel sadness overcoming me or anything. I can even still watch the dvd I rented last week. But as soon as I talked to my mom this morning, I cried. And I feel like crying everytime I talk with someone about my granma. How can I be so unemotional when I'm alone and extremely emphatic with other people? And that's one of the reasons why I'm scared of going home and see my family. Because I know they're gonna be to sad and it's gonna affect me so much that it's gonna hurt. And I don't want to be hurt. I'm so selfish.
ari 12:18 AM
|
|
|